NSFWench
Twitter spamming crack-art dealer. Smutty so-and-so. Frequently NSFW and generally lackadaisacal.


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elenilote:

darkangel221b:

actorswithactionfigures:

marvelandspiderman:

Well if this isn’t just the cutest

~Peter

Don’t think I’ve ever blogged the whole comic, in its entire adorableness…

You’re welcome :)

A-Babies VS. X-Babies. Written by Skottie Young. Art by Gurihiru.

This is perfect!

awwhhhh!

14 hours ago on July 28th, 2014 | J | 35,735 notes

Educating a Friend

Me: So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
Guy Friend: What's his name?
Me: I don't know. Frank?
Guy Friend: No.
Me: Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
Guy Friend: I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
Me: ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
Guy Friend: Do I have any money?
Me: Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
Guy Friend: Duh, I buy him lunch.
Me: Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
Guy Friend: Nah, it's cool.
Me: Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
Guy Friend: What five bucks?
Me: Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
Guy Friend: What? Why would I--
Me: I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
Guy Friend: Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
Me: I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
Guy Friend: Well, yeah, but...
Guy Friend: ...
Guy Friend: ...
Guy Friend: oh
14 hours ago on July 28th, 2014 | J | 250,149 notes
salkryn:

n7positive:

[Caption: For entrance into my university’s English department, I had to write a ten page literary essay over something in literature that meant a lot to me. I wrote my paper over character development through plot points as used in Mass Effect. I got a call a week an a half later from the head of the department who, after apologizing for his late response, said that he had to play though the games after reading about how good they were in my essay. He said that he had never cried harder at something in his life. He was sixty five years old.]

In case anyone had any doubt that video games are not something that only young people can enjoy. Now back to playing on my sixty two year old aunt’s Minecraft server.

salkryn:

n7positive:

[Caption: For entrance into my university’s English department, I had to write a ten page literary essay over something in literature that meant a lot to me. I wrote my paper over character development through plot points as used in Mass Effect. I got a call a week an a half later from the head of the department who, after apologizing for his late response, said that he had to play though the games after reading about how good they were in my essay. He said that he had never cried harder at something in his life. He was sixty five years old.]

In case anyone had any doubt that video games are not something that only young people can enjoy. Now back to playing on my sixty two year old aunt’s Minecraft server.

15 hours ago on July 28th, 2014 | J | 1,328 notes

salkryn:

realdarkmateria:

TNG cast before Star Trek

Literally nobody I asked has recognized Patrick Stewart with hair.

15 hours ago on July 28th, 2014 | J | 3,201 notes

urulokid:

poutineisdelicious:

xekstrin:

majere636:

arachnofiend:

marapetsrules:

bobfoxsky:

“You fool. No man can kill me.”

How many times am I allowed to reblog this before it gets weird?

image

Fun facts: Tolkien constructed this scene because he came out of Macbeth thinking that Shakespeare had missed a golden opportunity with the ”Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn the power of man, for none of woman born shall harm Macbeth” prophecy

Being letdown by Macbeth is apparently a significant factor in Tolkien’s writing because the Ent/Huorn attack on Isengard was the result of his disappointment that the whole “til Birnam Wood come to Dunsinane” thing was just some dudes holding sticks and not actual ambulatory trees.

so he basically took his favorite shakespeare headcanons and put them into his AU fic

This revelation just knocked me over.

LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT JOHN RONALD REUEL TOLKIEN. BACK THE FUCK UP SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING YOU’RE FUCKING JON SNOW HERE. LET ME TELL U A THING

JONNY T WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST FANBOY TO EVER WALK THE EARTH. LITERALLY THIS FUCKIN NERD WENT INTO WORLD WAR ONE AND WROTE NORSEFIC EDDA FANFIC IN THE TRENCHES AND SENT IT TO ALL HIS FRIENDS WHO WERE PRESUMABLY LIKE “JOHN WHAT THE FUCK”

BUT IT DOESN’T END THERE

HIS WIFE? MADE HER AND HIMSELF INTO SELF-INSERT OCS IN SAID FIC. ALSO MADE HIMSELF A TOTAL TYR SELF INSERT CHARACTER. ALL VERY DRAMATIC. KEPT WRITING THIS FIC UNTIL IT WAS HUGE. AFTER HE DIED HIS SON PUBLISHED IT AND CALLED IT THE SILMARILLION. JRR YOU FUCKIN NERD

WAIT I’M NOT FUCKING DONE YET. TREEBEARD? BASED THE WAY HE TALKED OF HIS OLD FRIEND JACK WHO YOU ALL MIGHT KNOW AS CS LEWIS. THAT’S RIGHT. THAT NARNIA MOTHERFUCKER. WROTE HIM INTO LORD OF THE RINGS AKA THE SEQUEL TO THE SEQUEL OF HIS ORIGINAL FANFIC MASTERPIECE. CS LEWIS FUCKING HATED LORD OF THE RINGS. TOLKIEN FUCKING HATED NARNIA. BASICALLY THEY STARTED THE OXFORD PROFESSOR LIVEJOURNAL CLUB AND THEY FLAMED EACH OTHER’S SHIT RELENTLESSLY YET REMAINED BFFS

SHELOB? FUCKING TARANTULA BIT J-TIDDY ON THE FOOT WHEN HE WAS LIKE 3. WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS.

HIS AUNT’S HOUSE? NAMED BAG END. YEAH YOU GUESSED IT WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS

THIS FUCKING DORKUS SUPREME MADE UP HIS OWN LANGUAGE. WAIT NO IM WRONG. HE MADE UP LIKE 80 LANGUAGES AND DIALECTS AND ALPHABETS AND SHIT 

BEST PART OF ALL?? HIS OWN LAST NAME, TOLKIEN, WAS DERIVED FROM THE GERMAN “TOLKHUN” MEANING “FOOLHARDY”. DOES THAT RING A BELL TO ANYONE FAMILIAR TO LORD OF THE RINGS??? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT PEREGRIN “PIPPIN” TOOK’S LIKE FUCKING CATCHPHRASE WAS “FOOL OF A TOOK”. TOLKIEN FIC’D HIS OWN FAMILIAL LINGUISTIC HISTORY INTO HIS WORK WHAT A DWEEB

IN 2008 HE RANKED 6TH ON A LIST OF THE TOP 50 BRITISH WRITERS SINCE 1945. HE WAS A PROFESSOR OF LANGUAGES AND OTHER IMPORTANT STUFFY SHIT AT OXFORD

AND JRR TOLKIEN WAS THE BIGGEST DWEEB EVER TO LIVE

THE END

16 hours ago on July 28th, 2014 | J | 340,289 notes

crhodey:

geekmelange:

sir-sherlock-of-the-tardis:

kismesister:

friendlytroll:

mamasam:

stopthatimp:

nani was NINETEEN and such a fucking badass who was so protective of lilo and just ROLLED with aliens being a thing towards the end of the movie. #1 Disney relative of all time.

I have honestly been waiting AGES for the right gifset to express the wonderful perfection that is Nani. She is not only protective of Lilo, she respects the way Lilo’s imagination and quirkiness works.

Pudge the fish got a peanut butter sandwich every Thursday. Nani does not argue the logic of feeding him, only suggests an alternative sandwich when they are out of peanut butter. Lilo was allowed to take as many photos of whatever mundane or odd subjects as she wanted and Nani would get them developed. Nani recognized what were important habits for Lilo.

When Lilo asks for a pet lobster, Nani does not tell her that lobsters are not pets. She tells her, “We don’t have a lobster door, we have a dog door.” She makes sure the woman at the pound does not tell Lilo that “Stitch is not a real name”.

NANI SPENDS THE ENTIRE MOVIE MAKING SURE THAT LILO NEVER FEELS LIKE HER IDEAS ARE WRONG.

The only time we truly see Nani get angry with Lilo is when she is scared of Lilo being taken away. Nani spends the entire movie stressed out over taking care of her sister, trying to find a job, trying to make sure her sister has a friend, and yet she is always willing to put that extra effort, over and over again, to make sure that Lilo always believes that anything is possible.

This is a great moment because she probably *remembered* that Lilo said this once. And you know what? Shes not ending this day by letting her little sister think this is her fault. She’s not having an easy time trying to be a parent, but she knows none of this is her sisters fault, and shes not going to let her think it is. 

And half of her terror of losing Lilo isnt even just losing her family; its knowing that wherever Lilo goes, they won’t know how to do these things. They won’t understand her. 

What a good movie. 

Casual reminder that the reason Lilo obsessively feeds the fish is because her parents died in a rainstorm and she firmly believes Pudge controls the weather. If you pay attention to the feeding sequence you will notice that storm clouds recede and dissipate, a visual narrative that confirms this.

It’s not just a habit. It’s a very real part of Lilo’s healing process and Nani understands that.

Also if you pay attention to Nani’s room you’ll notice she had surfing posters and trophies. She was very much on her way to being a pro surfer but had to give it up to become the adult Lilo needed her to be.

And not ONCE does Nani show her sister any resentment. It’s worth it to keep her family together. This is a young woman who is willing to sacrifice all of her dreams and make incredibly grown up decisions.

What I am saying is Nani is the best disney princess of all time. Disney Queen even.

Always reblog nani

Nani & LIlo - doing the awesome “sisters-focused narrative” before Frozen was a thing and getting less than 1/2 the credit.

Aaaanndd this is why it’s my favorite Disney movie (though not my favorite princess because to call either Lilo or Nani a “princess” would be to diminish what they ahve to offer).

16 hours ago on July 28th, 2014 | J | 775,590 notes

emoxic:

sveltte:

I made a tutorial about mixing colors when painting! It’s really long and rambly and probably repeats itself a lot, but maybe it’ll be helpful to somebody. It’s intended for people who already have a basic understanding of color theory, so I might recommend this tutorial by gawki if you don’t already know the basics.

this is important. even basic painting classes worth anything should touch on this.

21 hours ago on July 27th, 2014 | J | 3,444 notes

madamparadox:

undeadcosmicunicorn:

Impulse - $6.99

This is the company I bought my purple lipstick from and it is WONDERFUL!

21 hours ago on July 27th, 2014 | J | 148,999 notes

mybodythehandgrenade:

brinconvenient:

gailsimone:

chrishaley:

Done and done.

(Not pictured: “Butt window”, but trust me, it’s there.)

You have no idea how much this cheered me up just now.

I for one, think this is a major improvement. Look how empowered he is! And it’s relevant to the character as someone who is powered by the sun, he’d want to maximize the amount of sunlight he receives, right? It’s not like it makes sense for him to cover himself from chin to toe.
In fact, I think some strappy sandals might be an improvement.

strappy high heeled sandals would increase his height making him closer to the sun. and if wonderwoman can fight in heels it can’t be that hard, right?

21 hours ago on July 27th, 2014 | J | 36,733 notes

babycakesforboobear:

leedstentlovers:

unconventionalkitchenslave:

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?

where you put the cucumber

image

21 hours ago on July 27th, 2014 | J | 457,303 notes

monstertag:

I just got some really nicely printed copies of my senior thesis comic, Bacchanalia! I worked on this comic for ages under the tutelage of David Mazzuchelli and I’m pretty excited about it. Here’s the blurb:

Josiah is still recovering from a bad breakup when he stumbles upon a hidden world of drug- and drink-fueled dance parties happening in the forest near his college. A handsome stranger who speaks in riddles, Greek mythology come to life, and a missing toy lure Josiah into a mysterious cult. Bacchanalia is a 24-page black and white comic about love, grief, and the seduction of altered states of consciousness.

You can purchase the physical book here (it’s a great quality printing, nice paper stock and a matte cover) or download the PDF on Gumroad! Reblogs are super appreciated for this post, I’d love to get this comic out to people! <3,

Molly

22 hours ago on July 27th, 2014 | J | 230 notes

newlevant:

cartoonallies:

artbyjessjulitz:

My advice comic for those still in college! 

Hazel made a comic with her advice to get through comics college and encouraged me to make my own. I hope it helps someone! It would have been helpful for me to hear some of this before my senior year.

Jess Hurley

Yay! Great tips, Jess.

22 hours ago on July 27th, 2014 | J | 174 notes

newlevant:

My printer just sent me these photos of If This Be Sin! I’m amazed that it’s a real thing, and I can’t wait to hold it and touch it and rub my face all over it.

Debuting in September at SPX, pre-order here.

22 hours ago on July 27th, 2014 | J | 79 notes